Dr. Hugo J. Faustus
In exploring this new future world, thankfully, I will not be alone. Three years before shooting myself into space, I was able to save the brain of a great colleague of mine: Dr. Hugo J. Faustus, a leading researcher in the field of animal evolution.
He was hit by a bus while trying to save a labradoodle that had wandered into traffic. The doctors saw no way to save his body, and his mind was trapped in a comatose state. But I would need a keen intellect like his if I were to better understand the changes to the animals of the future Earth. So, one night, I snuck into the hospital and removed his brain, freezing it in my lab until such a time that I could find a use for it.
I’ve mentioned before of the menagerie of animals I brought with me into space. I did this just in case mankind had not only managed to wipe themselves out in the future, but all other life as well. I froze the creatures in suspended animation with me for three hundred years. When the time came for me to decide what to do with Dr. Faustus’ brain, the answer seemed obvious: put it in a monkey. A chimpanzee, to be more precise.
As I stated before, I barely had enough materials to make one suitable body for myself. So the body of a chimpanzee would have to do for my dear friend and colleague. You can imagine his shock upon awakening to discover this. But who would not, after stepping out for lunch one day, getting hit by a bus — and waking in the future with a new body — at the very least be annoyed.
But Dr. Faustus soon managed to come to his senses, seeing the pragmatism in my decision making. The only thing he asked for was a pair of shorts to maintain some modicum of modesty, gloves and supplies for our trek down to the planet, and a hat to cover the unsightly stitches around his cranium where his brain had been swapped out.
I was happy to oblige.
So far, we make a great team. I will be cautious not to make him angry though. I’m worried that some of the nature of a chimpanzee has made its way into his mind already, and I would hate to see a Nobel Prize winning scientist fling his poo in a fit of rage.