The H.O.3. VICTORY
My companion Dr. Falstaff and I are finally ready to head down to the surface. I have prepped our means of transportation: The H.O.3 Victory. It used to be a minivan, and was one of the last models ever made by American companies — before the family size regulations of twenty thirty-five rendered them redundant.
It is equipped with heat shields for our re-entry into Earth’s orbit, as well as thrusters and anti-gravity hub-caps. It is capable of submersion in water at depths up to six miles. Needless to say, wherever life still exists in this grim future, we shall find it!
Should we encounter any any hostile forces on the surface of Earth, we are fully prepared. Hidden within the front compartment of the Victory is a machine-gun, complete with .50 Caliber, armor piercing rounds.
Now, you may be thinking, my dear reader — given my brilliance with machinery — that I modified this van by myself. But you would be wrong! The features I have just listed were standard with most minivans in America during the the end times. Given the level of violence in the world, and the overall nature of raising a family, all mini-vans had been converted into machines of death and destruction.